Everyone Deserves to Feel Safe: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Home should be a place where we feel safe, respected, and supported. For someone experiencing domestic violence, however, home may be filled with fear, uncertainty, and isolation. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, an opportunity to recognize abuse, support survivors, and help people find a path toward safety. Awareness begins with understanding that someone’s experience may look very different from what we expect.
Abuse Is Not Always Visible
Domestic violence often involves a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. Physical violence is one form, but abuse can also involve emotional, sexual, financial, or digital control.
Warning signs may include:
Constant criticism, humiliation, threats, or intimidation.
Limiting contact with friends, family, or other sources of support.
Controlling money or preventing access to financial accounts.
Pressuring or forcing someone into sexual activity.
Monitoring messages, demanding passwords, or tracking someone’s location.
Using fear to control everyday choices.
A person does not need to have visible injuries for their experience to be serious or for them to deserve help.
Why “Just Leave” Is Not a Simple Solution
Someone experiencing abuse may face financial dependence, housing concerns, fear of retaliation, or worries about children and pets. They may still love their partner or hope the relationship will change. These circumstances can make decisions complicated. Pressuring someone to leave, criticizing their choices, or withdrawing support can deepen their isolation. A more helpful response is to listen, respect their decisions, and remain available as they consider their options.
Instead of asking, “Why haven’t you left?” consider saying: “I believe you. You do not deserve this. How can I support you?”
Supporting Someone With Care
You do not need to have every answer to offer meaningful support. Start by listening without blame or judgment. Let the person share what they feel comfortable sharing, and ask what would be helpful.
Consider these supportive approaches:
Affirm their experience. Remind them that the abuse is not their fault.
Respect their choices. Offer options without taking over decisions.
Ask about safe communication. Find out whether calling, texting, or leaving a message could create a risk.
Offer practical help. If they want assistance, help them connect with an advocate or explore available resources.
Keep the connection open. Let them know they can reach out again, even if their circumstances or decisions change.
Safety Planning Can Be a Starting Point
A safety plan is a personalized approach to increasing safety while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave, or after leaving. A domestic violence advocate can help someone think through their circumstances and identify options that fit their needs. Reaching out for information does not require having every next step decided.
Technology safety matters, too. Phones, shared accounts, and browsing activity may be monitored. Private or incognito browsing does not completely hide internet activity. When possible, use a safer device that the abusive person cannot access when seeking support.
Where to Find Support
The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week:
Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text: START to 88788
Chat: TheHotline.org
Advocates can discuss concerns, help with safety planning, and connect people with local resources.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 if it is safe to do so.
A Message From True North
This October, True North encourages everyone to help build a community where people experiencing abuse are heard, believed, and supported. A compassionate conversation can help someone feel less alone and make reaching out feel possible.
Everyone deserves safety, dignity, and respect. Help is available, and no one should have to navigate abuse alone.
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