National Grief Awareness Day: Grief Is About More Than Death
August 30 | National Grief Awareness Day
When we hear the word grief, our minds often go immediately to death—the loss of a parent, spouse, child, family member, friend, or someone else we love. That grief is profound and deserves compassion, time, and support. But grief does not belong only to death.
Sometimes we grieve a person who is still alive. We grieve a relationship that ended, a life that changed, a future we thought we would have, a career we lost, a home we had to leave, our health, our independence, or even a version of ourselves that no longer exists.
On National Grief Awareness Day, observed August 30, True North Wellness Services recognizes grief in all of its forms—and the importance of giving ourselves and others permission to experience it.
What Is National Grief Awareness Day?
National Grief Awareness Day was founded in 2014 by Angie Cartwright to bring greater awareness to the different ways people experience and cope with grief. The day encourages more open conversations about loss and challenges the idea that grief should follow a particular timeline.
That message matters because our culture can sometimes be uncomfortable with grief. We may hear phrases such as:
· “You need to move on."
· "Everything happens for a reason."
· "At least you still have..."
· "You should be happy about your new beginning."
These statements may be well-intended, but grief is rarely that simple. A new beginning can exist alongside sadness about an ending. Relief and heartbreak can happen at the same time. You can know that a change was necessary and still mourn what was lost. Two things can be true at once.
Grief Has Many Faces
Death is one of the most recognized causes of grief, but loss enters our lives in many different ways.
We may experience grief after:
The death of someone we love
Divorce, separation, or the end of a significant relationship
Estrangement from a family member or friend
A miscarriage, infertility, or the loss of a hoped-for family
A serious or chronic illness
Changes in physical or cognitive abilities
Becoming a caregiver and watching someone you love change
A loved one's diagnosis of dementia or another progressive illness
Retirement or loss of a career
Job loss or financial hardship
Moving away from a longtime home or community
Children growing up and leaving home
Loss of independence
A major change in identity or life role
The end of a friendship
Losing a pet
A traumatic event or natural disaster
Realizing that the future you planned is no longer going to happen
Some losses are obvious to the people around us. Others are almost invisible. That invisible grief can be particularly difficult because the world may not recognize that something meaningful has been lost.
Sometimes We Grieve What Could Have Been
There is another kind of grief that deserves recognition: grieving the future we imagined. Most of us carry a picture of how we believe certain parts of our lives will unfold. We imagine growing old with someone. We picture a particular career. We make plans for retirement. We envision our children reaching certain milestones. We expect our bodies to continue doing what they have always done.
And then life changes the plan. There may not be a funeral or sympathy cards. No one may bring dinner or ask how we are doing six months later. Yet the loss is real. Sometimes healing begins when we stop telling ourselves that we shouldn't be grieving and acknowledge: This mattered to me. This changed me. And I need time to adjust to what comes next.
Grief Does Not Follow a Straight Line
Many people are familiar with the "stages of grief." While concepts such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance can help us put words to certain experiences, grief should not be viewed as a checklist.
You do not complete one stage and permanently move on to the next. Grief can be messy. You may feel strong one day and overwhelmed the next. You may laugh and genuinely enjoy yourself, only to find that a song, photograph, anniversary, smell, conversation, or ordinary moment suddenly brings the loss rushing back. Months—or even years—later, something can touch that tender place again. That does not necessarily mean you have gone backward. It means something mattered.
Healing does not always mean forgetting, "getting over it," or returning to the person you were before the loss. Sometimes healing means learning how to carry what happened while continuing to build a meaningful life around it.
When Grief and Change Meet
One of the hardest parts of grief is that life keeps moving. Bills still arrive. Work continues. Children need us. Appointments have to be kept. Decisions have to be made. Sometimes we are expected to rebuild while we are still trying to understand what fell apart.
During major life transitions, it can help to reduce the pressure to have everything figured out immediately. Instead of asking, "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?" it may be more manageable to ask: "What do I need today?"
Maybe today requires rest. Tomorrow may require making a phone call. Another day may require asking for help. And eventually, there may be a day when you notice something new: curiosity about the future. Grief and hope are not opposites. They can exist together.
Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving
You do not need perfect words to support someone experiencing loss. In fact, trying to fix grief can sometimes make a grieving person feel even more alone. Instead, be present. Say their loved one's name. Ask how they are doing—and be willing to hear the real answer. Recognize anniversaries and difficult dates. Offer specific practical help instead of simply saying, "Let me know if you need anything." And remember that support should not disappear after the first few weeks.
For non-death losses, validation can be equally powerful. A person going through divorce may need someone to acknowledge the loss of the life they expected. Someone retiring may need space to talk about losing a role that helped define them. A caregiver may be grieving changes in a loved one while that person is still physically present. Sometimes one of the most meaningful things we can say is simply: "That is a real loss. I'm here."
Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve
If you are experiencing grief, consider extending yourself the same compassion you would offer someone you care about. There is no prize for grieving quickly. You do not have to pretend you are okay to make other people comfortable. At the same time, you are allowed to laugh, experience joy, make plans, try something new, or have a good day without feeling guilty.
Taking care of yourself during grief might mean talking with someone you trust, journaling, spending time outside, maintaining basic routines, moving your body, resting, participating in a support group, connecting with your faith or community, or working with a mental health professional.
There is no single "right" way to grieve. There is simply your way—and discovering what helps you move through this season without expecting yourself to erase what came before.
Finding Your True North After Loss
At True North Wellness Services, the idea of True North is about finding direction when life feels uncertain. Grief can make our internal compass feel completely disrupted. The path we expected may no longer exist. The person we thought would walk beside us may no longer be there. Our health, family, career, relationships, responsibilities, or circumstances may have changed.
Finding your True North does not mean pretending those losses did not happen. It means slowly discovering what guides you now. Your direction may look different than it once did. Your priorities may change. You may learn things about yourself you never expected to learn.
And sometimes, before we can embrace what comes next, we need permission to grieve what came before.
On August 30, Make Room for Grief
This National Grief Awareness Day, consider making room for conversations we often avoid. Check on the person whose loss happened months ago. Remember the caregiver experiencing changes that others may not see. Offer compassion to someone navigating divorce, illness, retirement, estrangement, job loss, or another major transition. And perhaps most importantly, recognize your own losses too. You do not have to compare your grief to someone else's to decide whether it is worthy of compassion.
Loss is part of being human. Grief is part of loving, hoping, connecting, and building a life that matters.
We may not always get to choose the changes that redirect our lives. But with time, support, compassion, and sometimes professional guidance, we can begin finding our direction again.
Your path may have changed. Your story is still being written. And your True North is still there.
Comments